Your short bus jokes just aren't funny

Today is "Spread the word to end the word" day.  A day set aside to educate people about the hurtful nature of using words that negatively describe, or poke fun at, people with intellectual disabilities.

I'll admit it, in the past I laughed about these jokes, and I'm sure I've even said a few.  I used to use the r-word often.  But now I know better.  And I want you to as well.

Your short bus jokes aren't funny.  Since Isaiah started early intervention I've seen a handful of short bus memes on Facebook, and while those were probably something I would barely notice in prior years, they now sting.  When they catch me off guard they can occupy my thoughts for hours, sometimes days, after seeing them.  When I walk through the mall and hear teenage girls saying "don't be so retarded" I get sad.  When I see movies where the butt of the joke is an intellectually disabled person I have to fight tears back.  It's not so much the joke itself that hurts, it's the idea that no matter how loving or kind, how sweet-hearted and wonderful, and no matter how giving my child is, he will be the butt of someones joke.  He will be less than deserving in the eyes of some.

When you make your short bus jokes, you are laughing at a child, my child, who is struggling with the tasks you take for granted.  You are picking on a group of people who are often more loving, accepting and generous than you will ever think to be.

I don't now if Isaiah will always struggle, or if he will someday catch up.  We have been given a general idea of how he may be based on his current rate of development, and he may be given a diagnosis of intellectually disabled at his next cognitive testing.  I hope he catches up, because no one likes to see their child struggling.  I see his determination when he tackles challenges and I know that if anyone can do it, it's him.  I see how far he has come and know that no matter what his future holds, he's going to give it 100%.  And, I also know that when he starts school next fall he will be riding one of those buses you laugh at.  He will be the bright eyed little blond boy giving hugs to anyone who takes the time to receive one.  He will probably sit on that bus and make silly faces with the aide the entire ride to school.  He will offer his -no strings attached- friendship to anyone willing to accept it.  He will probably give everyone on his bus a hug when he gets off, or at the very least an excited wave goodbye as he gets off and toddles back up our driveway.  And he will probably always forgive you if you tease him for his challenges.  Because that's just how he is.  I hope you also see those qualities in him.  I hope you see his sparkly eyes before you see his clumsy walking.  I hope you see his wide smile before you notice his unorganized speech.  I hope you see his warm expressions before you notice that it takes him a few extra tries to get the hang of something new.  And I hope you can see his joyful spirit before you wonder why he's not like other 2 year olds.

My little boy is a lot of things.  He is developmentally delayed.  He is microcephalic.  He is speech delayed, physically delayed, cognitively delayed, and socially delayed.  But more importantly he is happy, he is silly, he is snuggly, he is funny, he is determined, generous, kind, has a heart of gold, and is loved fiercely.

So, maybe you will take this message to heart, or maybe you will brush it off as an overly sensitive parent who needs to lighten up.  But I do hope, if nothing else, you choose your words more carefully in public.  You never know when a mother, exhausted from therapy and appointments, and who just wants her child to be loved and accepted as someone's friend, is in earshot who will take those words to heart and be crushed knowing the stigma that still exists around the special needs community.

Please check out the website…and take a day to spread the word.  www.r-word.org